Ch..ch..change for the better

I took the job. Starting October 1 I will be the groomer at the Cochrane Pet Services store. Their current groomer is retiring from grooming after being in the business for 30 yrs and she appproached me to fill her position. Its an incredible opportunity for me, and I‘m grateful she thought of me to replace her. I am very excited to be the “top“ groomer in town and only after being in the business for 6 years.

And after speaking with my new boss im excited about all the plans he has for a new grooming studio/shop. Over the next couple of years he plans on building a state of the art grooming shop complete with a self serve area for those wanting to tackle their own pets. I‘m also excited to be working regular hours, no more 60+ hr work weeks, no more 5 am wake up calls, evenings and weekend free, i can volunteer again, i could start going to the pool again, i can have a life.

This last week on taxi isnt going to be pleasant, as expected my boss was not pleased to put it lightly when i told him i was quitting. He didnt think it was fair for me to decide to quit without consulting him. Why the hell would i consult him? Theres no way he could match the deal they gave me at the pet store, and its a job that i went to school for. Its my life i get to decide who and where i work for. I always knew that my boss had a way of guilting you into things and making you feel like shit...its part of why I havent been feeling myself for the longest time but couldnt find a way to get out without having another job to go to. Hes a sneaky workplace bully...im glad to be moving on for my mental health. Who knows maybe I‘ll even end up quitting sooner if he gives me a hard time, cuz really now that i have a new job to go to these last 4 days Im only working cuz i didn‘t want to be a complete ass like some of our past employees and just up and quit.

Waiting...

My new possible job opportunity has me sitting on the edge of my seat. No word yet if its a done deal or not. I‘ll do some phoning around tonight to find out as i would start October 1, it wouldnt exactly give my current boss the 2 weeks notice that is usually expected, mind you he has had people just quit with no notice, I dont want to be one of those people though. I hate waiting knowing that this opportunity would be a huge deal for me career wise.

Keep Dreaming...

Talk about fate, coincidence, karma; I received a call this afternoon about an awesome job opportunity. It's all most what I've been hoping, waiting and dreaming for. Not exactly what I was refering to in the previous post but still fits. And in this case I'm going to jump at the opportunity, not going to let this slip through my fingers. I get more details tonight and if all goes well I'll start my new job October 1!!!!

On the down side I'm a bit reluctant to give my current boss my notice, he's going to be pissed and disapointed. I'm not sure if I feel this way because I've been guilted into it or if I genuinely care that my current boss is going to have a hard time replacing me/filling my position.

The Impossible Dream

Have you ever wished against wishes, hoped against hope? Dreamed about having the impossible?

I‘ve often dreamed or hoped for what seemed like an impossible thing or situation. Knowing that it was highly unlikely to ever come true. A good example would be dreaming you would actually win the lottery, and imagining all that you would and could do with your winnings.

Well what happens when that impossible dream becomes a reality? (I‘m not talking about winning the lottery) Do you jump at it? Hold on tight before it slips away again? Or are you in such shock and disbelief it slips back through your fingers? How do you jump at the chance of something that you never in your wildest dreams thought would/could ever happen?

Councelling Confessions

I started seeing a councellor in July. To help with my stress and anxiety...I‘m not entirely sure its working, but I continue to go.

Lying by ommission. Last week she asked if i was medicated, i replied not yet which is a lie. I‘ve been medicated for a month now. My family doc put me on celexa, a anti depressent that helps with anxiety, though i feel less anxious i was hoping it would be stronger than what it is. I also wonder if the councellor even reads my file, the doc and her both have access to it. (I‘ve also been watching the tv drama Lie to Me on netflix...and think it would be facinating to do what they do study peoples micro expressions...and to be able to fool people).

I dont think this councellor and I are a good fit, shes not very prying. Just kind of takes whatever i say...mind you she could have a different opinion in her “notes“.

Last week we talked about me seeing a psychologist to get a diagnosis. I suspect I have either ADD/ADHD or Asperger‘s....i‘ve questioned this for a couple of years now. Having a label may not really mean anything except being able to explain some of the whys and to zero in on effective coping skills to work on.

Stay tuned for more confessions and progress reports.

New Additions

On impulse I got a new kitten last night. :-/ My former cat hasn't been seen in over two weeks (I suspect she either got caught by the cayotes or has decided to call one of my neighboors barns her new home...but my gut tells me it was the cayotes)...she had been a good mouser and beautiful cat as far as cats go. I'm a dog person. The cat in my home is a working cat, they have the mouser position so I don't have to deal with traps or rodents! ew! They also get to kill any other basement critters like bugs and spiders and like I discovered yesterday living in the litter box, toads!! The dogs are not impressed with their new housemate...Lady wants to eat and play with the kitten, but she's a bit too rough at this point and I'm afraid kitty will scratch her eye or something..and Finnegan doesn't want to go anywhere near the kitty, walking around the perimeter of the room to get by it and onto the safety of my lap (and he's not exactly a lap sized dog). After some much discussed thinking and trying out names the new kitten's name is Pick Elle Star or Pickles. (My friend had her sister, which they named Luna).

I'll post pictures of all the furries that live with me sometime soon :)

Clairvoyancy

Have you ever just known something without being to explain how or why? It could be just gut instinct or that your completely intune with your surroundings. Maybe its something more, something bigger than you ever imagine. Do you listen to that instinct? Or ignore it?
Do different people expirence different clairvoyancies? Or do we all have the ability? 
Have you ever thought about why we choose the friends we keep? Why we like certain family members more than others? How you know when someones boyfriend or girlfriend just isn‘t right for them? And then also how you know they‘re perfect for each other? Does our subconsious actively seek out those will compliment our lives rather than complicate them?

Drama Queens and Kings

Drama Drama Drama!

Pick your battles is something my mom would tell me.

For the most part I think I stay relatively low key on the drama spectrum of things. I can recount every huge drama fight/disagreement with my family and friends I've ever had. Generally I'm not the instigator though sometimes I am. And if I am in the wrong I will make amends. If I am not in the wrong I am not backing down on the matter, however depending on the circumstances I will choose to put the matter aside and move on.

I have had my share of dealing with crazy friends and not understanding their choices. Most of which usually had something to do with their boyfriend at the time. All of those "battles" eventually ended when the relationship did, some was a few months others a few years.

The most recent of these drama filled relationships is with my cousin, whom my parents became legal guardian of when she was 14. The same one that just started college. I've reached my limit with dealing with her mood swings and change of self due to the douche bag, master manipulator of a bf she's dating. The lastest drama last night was over a marriage licence application I had found that the two of them had filled out and left in a book of house design plans on the kitchen table at my parents. When I found it I went a little crazy, told my mom, her mom, left her a letter saying how disapointed I was in her. I also talked to a couple friends about it, some said I over reacted, others that they would have done the same. They now can't find the application, the douch bag is blaming me for taking it -why would I take it, they could just as easily get another one if they're serious about getting married?!? I didn't take it, but one of the friends I confided happens to be a cousin of the douch bag, and was talking to douche bags mom and said something about it and I don't know what she then told her son, but he's flipped his shit and I don't understand all this bull poop over a piece of paper. A piece of paper that I'm almost 100% sure my cousin lost or threw out and is now afraid to admit to douche bag cuz she sees how mad he is and doesn't want that directed at her.

It's crazy and insane and I'm done. I don't need to be drawn into this teenage drama bullshit. Its a battle I choose not to participate in. Hopefully my cousin can see Mr. douche bags flaws before too much damage is done. It's time to live and learn baby girl.

Why are some people so prone to drama?

50 shades educated

I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. Being an avid reader of pretty much anything I jumped on the band wagon to see if they lived up to all the hype. They certainly explored a new side of the romance novel, being very descriptive and explicit but still followed the classic boy meets girl, longs to be with girl, girl wants more than boy wants to give, they deal with their issues and live happily ever after..more or less. The ‘big‘ hype of the book was about the older man seducing the younger woman and then engaging in the sexual play of dominating and submissive. For me I didnt find the age difference all that alarming, i dont even think it was a 10 year age gap. And the sexual content wasn‘t as alarming as I was expecting either. Because I didnt get the ‘shock‘ factor of this book got me wondering if I have a freakishly adventure side when it comes to sex or if my generation has lost its ability to be shocked.

Since reading the books, I‘ve been curious to learn how others view spicing things up sexually and their views on sex in general.

While playing games with my parents and cousin and her bf the day before she was leaving for college, she mentioned getting get frosh kit, i immediately said “oo your going to get some condoms!“ Both her and my mom stared at me in shock with the why would I get condoms look. My mom said all the sex ed she got when she went to university was a talk that one in 3 girls get raped at Queens University, mind you that was in the 70s. Not to promote rape, sex should be consensual, but my comment was, just be willing, you can‘t rape the willing. Again more stares and disbelief that these thoughts/words were coming out of my mouth. Then the converstation veared towards STIs or STDs..my cousin could only bring up herpes and aids! What are they learning in sex ed at school these days?!?! We had a little education time about STIs and more stares from mom. My cousin was a bit embrassed by the whole conversation too, but I‘m going to chalk that up to being a young adult and just discovering the wonderful world of sex. And my mom kept saying I do I even want to know, I can't believe your talking about this. (My mom and I don't have the lets talk about everything relationship, in reality not too many people know the real me.) But afterwards it got me thinking we were 3 generations sitting there, and with me seemingly the only one willing to be so candid. Is it just me or do other of my generation feel they can be so open when it comes to sex.

My next senario, was that I was talking to one of my male friends about sex, likes, dislikes, fetishes, toys, trying new things. It shocked me to learn that despite him being slightly older there was alot of things he was curious about but had never done. When I asked why he hasn't tried anything he didn't really have an answer, just blamed it on not ever being with women who wanted to try. I'm not entirely sure I believe that, but it could be true. The poor guy is missing out on what coud be some very good exciting and fun sex. Hopefully I re-sparked his curiosity and he can get to try some of the things, let his inner sexual wild freak flag fly. (after and during our convo he repeatedly called me wild and a freak..he has no idea!) But this also got me pondering, is the fantasy of things untried better than actually trying them?

My last conversation about sex this past week was with one of my bffs and other cousin, who's more like a sister than anything else. Though we've talked about it in the past, this last week I've learnt that we have similar likes and dislikes and are both on the "wild and freakish" side of things and like to spice things up. The one thing we both struggle with is being sexy. My "sexiness" varies from the extreme almost porn-star like that rarely anyone gets to see to the less tame and simple where I think being your true self is the most sexy you can be. What you do think the difference is between; cute, sexy, and hott? (She hasn't read the 50 Shades of Grey books yet, I urged her to get to it.)

Let your wild and freaky sexual side out and have some fun, you never know what you may discover.

11 questions

One of the blogs I read was nominated for a blog award...part of the nomination for it was she had to write 11 random things about herself, then answer the nominees questions and makes a list of questions for the blogs she nominated. I wasn't nominated but figured answering the questions would be a fun way to let fellow readers get to know me.

Jamie's blog and questions...http://aeverydayblessedsoandso.blogspot.ca/

1. I have to steal one – How would you describe your perfect day?
Waking up to a beautiful warm summer day, sunny with a few clouds, with a light breeze, a daytime temperature of about 26 celcius. Spend the day out at my favorite camping spot, with my good friends and family, going for a bike/quad ride..a long one, with our dogs in tow. A picnic while on our ride near a stream with rocks to climb on. Once back at camp head to the lake for a swim with the dogs, drying after the swim in the sun lying on a towel on the beach. BBQ ribs and crunchy potatoes for supper, then an evening around the fire with friends and family maybe a game of horsehoes. Then staying up all night chatting with the friends until the sun comes up.

2. If you find yourself with time unplanned and alone what do you do?
Depends on my mood, read, watch tv or a movie, sleep, play with the dogs outside

3. Are you a trend follower? What is a recent trend you have followed?
Yes and no. Most recent trend i have followed is adding the instagram app for photos on my smart phone.

4. What excites you?
Getting to spend time with the people I truly like/love in my world, whether its for 5 minutes, an hour, over coffee, or travelling somewhere.

5. What terrifies you?
Surpringly quite a bit, the dark, being alone, the unknowns in life, change

6. Where do you feel the most peaceful?
I have a couple spots 1) oddly enough sitting on a park bench in graveyards, i feel comfort and at peace surrounded by all those souls, 2) driving/ cruising the open road and 3) outdoors in general being surrounded by walls makes me feel claustrophobic

7. Do you have many friends? Are they close or casual?
I would say I know alot of people, but only have a few close friends and I'm fiercely loyal to them

8. How did you meet most of the friends you currently have?
Most of the friends I have I met in high school some even elementary school.

9. Do you have siblings? Do you spend a lot of time with them?
I have one biological brother, younger, by a couple years. No we don't spend a lot of time together, it's a shame and something I would like to change. I also have a sorta adopted sister who's my cousin that my parents took in, I used to spend alot of time with her but her teenage years we've haven't been as close, I'm thinking we'll reconnect once she's done college and figures out what she's doing with her life -she started college this week. I also have another cousin whom I'm extremely close to, my sister from another mother, in the past few years we haven't spent alot of time face to face but we talk almost everyday thanks to facebook and texting.

10. Why do you blog?
I used to blog all the time, for years, then the last couple of years I'm not sure why but I had a falling out with the blogging world. But I'm back, its therapy, saying whatever is on your mind, putting it out into the universe

11. What is the blog you have been following the longest? Why do you keep following? t
Jamie's blog (link above) is the one I've followed the longest, I keep following cuz she's a cousin and I like hearing whats going on in her world a half a country away, its a great way to feel connected when we aren't so good at emails and letters (yes we still snail mail, have been for years! probably going on 15 years now!)

Band-aid Removal

What‘s the best way to remove a band-aid? Just go for it and rip it off or slowly work at the edges taking time and care?

I‘ve usually been one to take my time, acess the situation and then carefully, slowly, with afflicting as little pain as possible take off the band aid. My question is do you approach life conflicts with the same enthusiam as you do with a band-aid?

I do. I would much rather avoid conflict of any kind than to jump in and rip and tear at things. But which way is healthier? One of my recent conclusions is that you need to find a healthy medium, sometimes its better to avoid and take the less painful approach but other times you should be assertive and direct. My years of constance avoiding, procrastinating and burying my head/thoughts in the sand have come to bite me in the perverbial ass.

How does one change their methods of coping with conflicts or band-aids after years of doing the opposite?

Insomnia

I haven‘t been sleeping. There‘s lots that has been happening. A couple hours of sleep a night is not enough, i miss sleeping a solid 8 hrs. I started the path to getting this all figured out but its going to be a long road. I‘m hoping that by getting back to blogging will me on that journey.