Future advice

I just read this article on Huffington Post http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ferrett-steinmetz/dear-daughter-i-hope-you-have-awesome-sex_b_3755185.html. It's basically a letter from a father to a daughter about life, growing up, discovering yourself, sex, and the hopes the father or any parent may have for their kids.

I've save the words to hopefully recall upon and use in the future, when I need to pass on some advice or just express my hopes.

MTV Loosing IT

Tonights the first time I‘ve seen the show in its entirely. It‘s basically a show about people telling their story about how they lost their virginity. Now i get the idea behind the show, opening up lines of communication to teens and their anxieties about loosing it and their ideas that its going to be this perfect representation of entering into the wonderful world of sex.

They have both straight and gay stories, which in this day and age is fantastic. My disbeleif is how these people can remember all the details of loosing their V-card. I do not remember all the vivid details of my loosing it story. I know who it was with and how old I was but I dont remember when/the date, or maybe whats worse is where we were.

Some random loosing it facts - The average global age that people loose their virginity is 19. The average age in North America to loose your virginity is 17. And on average women have 4 sexual partners in their life. I can see the first two facts being somewhat accurate the last certainly does not apply to me, my number is higher -but not as high as the number is the movie ‘what‘s your number‘.

Do you have a great loosing it story? Or is it more of a non-memory like mine?

50 shades educated

I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. Being an avid reader of pretty much anything I jumped on the band wagon to see if they lived up to all the hype. They certainly explored a new side of the romance novel, being very descriptive and explicit but still followed the classic boy meets girl, longs to be with girl, girl wants more than boy wants to give, they deal with their issues and live happily ever after..more or less. The ‘big‘ hype of the book was about the older man seducing the younger woman and then engaging in the sexual play of dominating and submissive. For me I didnt find the age difference all that alarming, i dont even think it was a 10 year age gap. And the sexual content wasn‘t as alarming as I was expecting either. Because I didnt get the ‘shock‘ factor of this book got me wondering if I have a freakishly adventure side when it comes to sex or if my generation has lost its ability to be shocked.

Since reading the books, I‘ve been curious to learn how others view spicing things up sexually and their views on sex in general.

While playing games with my parents and cousin and her bf the day before she was leaving for college, she mentioned getting get frosh kit, i immediately said “oo your going to get some condoms!“ Both her and my mom stared at me in shock with the why would I get condoms look. My mom said all the sex ed she got when she went to university was a talk that one in 3 girls get raped at Queens University, mind you that was in the 70s. Not to promote rape, sex should be consensual, but my comment was, just be willing, you can‘t rape the willing. Again more stares and disbelief that these thoughts/words were coming out of my mouth. Then the converstation veared towards STIs or STDs..my cousin could only bring up herpes and aids! What are they learning in sex ed at school these days?!?! We had a little education time about STIs and more stares from mom. My cousin was a bit embrassed by the whole conversation too, but I‘m going to chalk that up to being a young adult and just discovering the wonderful world of sex. And my mom kept saying I do I even want to know, I can't believe your talking about this. (My mom and I don't have the lets talk about everything relationship, in reality not too many people know the real me.) But afterwards it got me thinking we were 3 generations sitting there, and with me seemingly the only one willing to be so candid. Is it just me or do other of my generation feel they can be so open when it comes to sex.

My next senario, was that I was talking to one of my male friends about sex, likes, dislikes, fetishes, toys, trying new things. It shocked me to learn that despite him being slightly older there was alot of things he was curious about but had never done. When I asked why he hasn't tried anything he didn't really have an answer, just blamed it on not ever being with women who wanted to try. I'm not entirely sure I believe that, but it could be true. The poor guy is missing out on what coud be some very good exciting and fun sex. Hopefully I re-sparked his curiosity and he can get to try some of the things, let his inner sexual wild freak flag fly. (after and during our convo he repeatedly called me wild and a freak..he has no idea!) But this also got me pondering, is the fantasy of things untried better than actually trying them?

My last conversation about sex this past week was with one of my bffs and other cousin, who's more like a sister than anything else. Though we've talked about it in the past, this last week I've learnt that we have similar likes and dislikes and are both on the "wild and freakish" side of things and like to spice things up. The one thing we both struggle with is being sexy. My "sexiness" varies from the extreme almost porn-star like that rarely anyone gets to see to the less tame and simple where I think being your true self is the most sexy you can be. What you do think the difference is between; cute, sexy, and hott? (She hasn't read the 50 Shades of Grey books yet, I urged her to get to it.)

Let your wild and freaky sexual side out and have some fun, you never know what you may discover.