50 shades educated

I read the 50 Shades of Grey trilogy. Being an avid reader of pretty much anything I jumped on the band wagon to see if they lived up to all the hype. They certainly explored a new side of the romance novel, being very descriptive and explicit but still followed the classic boy meets girl, longs to be with girl, girl wants more than boy wants to give, they deal with their issues and live happily ever after..more or less. The ‘big‘ hype of the book was about the older man seducing the younger woman and then engaging in the sexual play of dominating and submissive. For me I didnt find the age difference all that alarming, i dont even think it was a 10 year age gap. And the sexual content wasn‘t as alarming as I was expecting either. Because I didnt get the ‘shock‘ factor of this book got me wondering if I have a freakishly adventure side when it comes to sex or if my generation has lost its ability to be shocked.

Since reading the books, I‘ve been curious to learn how others view spicing things up sexually and their views on sex in general.

While playing games with my parents and cousin and her bf the day before she was leaving for college, she mentioned getting get frosh kit, i immediately said “oo your going to get some condoms!“ Both her and my mom stared at me in shock with the why would I get condoms look. My mom said all the sex ed she got when she went to university was a talk that one in 3 girls get raped at Queens University, mind you that was in the 70s. Not to promote rape, sex should be consensual, but my comment was, just be willing, you can‘t rape the willing. Again more stares and disbelief that these thoughts/words were coming out of my mouth. Then the converstation veared towards STIs or STDs..my cousin could only bring up herpes and aids! What are they learning in sex ed at school these days?!?! We had a little education time about STIs and more stares from mom. My cousin was a bit embrassed by the whole conversation too, but I‘m going to chalk that up to being a young adult and just discovering the wonderful world of sex. And my mom kept saying I do I even want to know, I can't believe your talking about this. (My mom and I don't have the lets talk about everything relationship, in reality not too many people know the real me.) But afterwards it got me thinking we were 3 generations sitting there, and with me seemingly the only one willing to be so candid. Is it just me or do other of my generation feel they can be so open when it comes to sex.

My next senario, was that I was talking to one of my male friends about sex, likes, dislikes, fetishes, toys, trying new things. It shocked me to learn that despite him being slightly older there was alot of things he was curious about but had never done. When I asked why he hasn't tried anything he didn't really have an answer, just blamed it on not ever being with women who wanted to try. I'm not entirely sure I believe that, but it could be true. The poor guy is missing out on what coud be some very good exciting and fun sex. Hopefully I re-sparked his curiosity and he can get to try some of the things, let his inner sexual wild freak flag fly. (after and during our convo he repeatedly called me wild and a freak..he has no idea!) But this also got me pondering, is the fantasy of things untried better than actually trying them?

My last conversation about sex this past week was with one of my bffs and other cousin, who's more like a sister than anything else. Though we've talked about it in the past, this last week I've learnt that we have similar likes and dislikes and are both on the "wild and freakish" side of things and like to spice things up. The one thing we both struggle with is being sexy. My "sexiness" varies from the extreme almost porn-star like that rarely anyone gets to see to the less tame and simple where I think being your true self is the most sexy you can be. What you do think the difference is between; cute, sexy, and hott? (She hasn't read the 50 Shades of Grey books yet, I urged her to get to it.)

Let your wild and freaky sexual side out and have some fun, you never know what you may discover.

11 questions

One of the blogs I read was nominated for a blog award...part of the nomination for it was she had to write 11 random things about herself, then answer the nominees questions and makes a list of questions for the blogs she nominated. I wasn't nominated but figured answering the questions would be a fun way to let fellow readers get to know me.

Jamie's blog and questions...http://aeverydayblessedsoandso.blogspot.ca/

1. I have to steal one – How would you describe your perfect day?
Waking up to a beautiful warm summer day, sunny with a few clouds, with a light breeze, a daytime temperature of about 26 celcius. Spend the day out at my favorite camping spot, with my good friends and family, going for a bike/quad ride..a long one, with our dogs in tow. A picnic while on our ride near a stream with rocks to climb on. Once back at camp head to the lake for a swim with the dogs, drying after the swim in the sun lying on a towel on the beach. BBQ ribs and crunchy potatoes for supper, then an evening around the fire with friends and family maybe a game of horsehoes. Then staying up all night chatting with the friends until the sun comes up.

2. If you find yourself with time unplanned and alone what do you do?
Depends on my mood, read, watch tv or a movie, sleep, play with the dogs outside

3. Are you a trend follower? What is a recent trend you have followed?
Yes and no. Most recent trend i have followed is adding the instagram app for photos on my smart phone.

4. What excites you?
Getting to spend time with the people I truly like/love in my world, whether its for 5 minutes, an hour, over coffee, or travelling somewhere.

5. What terrifies you?
Surpringly quite a bit, the dark, being alone, the unknowns in life, change

6. Where do you feel the most peaceful?
I have a couple spots 1) oddly enough sitting on a park bench in graveyards, i feel comfort and at peace surrounded by all those souls, 2) driving/ cruising the open road and 3) outdoors in general being surrounded by walls makes me feel claustrophobic

7. Do you have many friends? Are they close or casual?
I would say I know alot of people, but only have a few close friends and I'm fiercely loyal to them

8. How did you meet most of the friends you currently have?
Most of the friends I have I met in high school some even elementary school.

9. Do you have siblings? Do you spend a lot of time with them?
I have one biological brother, younger, by a couple years. No we don't spend a lot of time together, it's a shame and something I would like to change. I also have a sorta adopted sister who's my cousin that my parents took in, I used to spend alot of time with her but her teenage years we've haven't been as close, I'm thinking we'll reconnect once she's done college and figures out what she's doing with her life -she started college this week. I also have another cousin whom I'm extremely close to, my sister from another mother, in the past few years we haven't spent alot of time face to face but we talk almost everyday thanks to facebook and texting.

10. Why do you blog?
I used to blog all the time, for years, then the last couple of years I'm not sure why but I had a falling out with the blogging world. But I'm back, its therapy, saying whatever is on your mind, putting it out into the universe

11. What is the blog you have been following the longest? Why do you keep following? t
Jamie's blog (link above) is the one I've followed the longest, I keep following cuz she's a cousin and I like hearing whats going on in her world a half a country away, its a great way to feel connected when we aren't so good at emails and letters (yes we still snail mail, have been for years! probably going on 15 years now!)

Band-aid Removal

What‘s the best way to remove a band-aid? Just go for it and rip it off or slowly work at the edges taking time and care?

I‘ve usually been one to take my time, acess the situation and then carefully, slowly, with afflicting as little pain as possible take off the band aid. My question is do you approach life conflicts with the same enthusiam as you do with a band-aid?

I do. I would much rather avoid conflict of any kind than to jump in and rip and tear at things. But which way is healthier? One of my recent conclusions is that you need to find a healthy medium, sometimes its better to avoid and take the less painful approach but other times you should be assertive and direct. My years of constance avoiding, procrastinating and burying my head/thoughts in the sand have come to bite me in the perverbial ass.

How does one change their methods of coping with conflicts or band-aids after years of doing the opposite?

Insomnia

I haven‘t been sleeping. There‘s lots that has been happening. A couple hours of sleep a night is not enough, i miss sleeping a solid 8 hrs. I started the path to getting this all figured out but its going to be a long road. I‘m hoping that by getting back to blogging will me on that journey.

Finding Me

It's been a while since I've been able to blog, mainly due to dial up at home and aging computer, however those 2 things have been upgraded! YAY! I now have light high speed and bought a new laptop. I'm using and liking the cloud- refering to windows 7 and the "to the cloud" commercials. Recently I haven't been myself so to say. My mind is all over the place and not in a very manageable way. I'm stressed, unhappy/depressed, and have anxeity up the wazooo. I haven't always been the miss popular social butterfly and mary friggin sunshine but I haven't felt this outta control either. So I've decided that I'm going to start doing things that I miss doing, or that I think would help me de-stress. Writing blog entries is one thing, getting back to doing something musical-I think I'm going to re-teach myself to play guitar, I used to take lessons when I was 11. I'm also going to seek out professional help, whether that leads to meds or a councellor or both. And I also plan on doing some kind of exercise plan-I had started this eating healthy and exercise plan earlier however injury had me benched for the last couple of weeks, hopefully I can get back on track now. Tonight I went to a 50th birthday party for a family friend, who used to be my babysitter. Sitting at the table with my parents I had a bit of a holy friggin crap I'm getting old moment. I can remember 20 yrs ago! 20 yrs ago we had this person's 30th getting old party at my parents house. It was just my parents, the family friends and her better half and all us kids. Not a big party but still- 20 yrs ago us "kids" made up a play/skit for the birthday girl. My parents claimed they vidoe taped the skit- they want to find it...lol...I hope it stays lost. With my 29th birthday a month away...the fact that I can remember back 20 yrs freaks me out a wee bit. I'm turning an age where I can actually remember celebrating when my mom was turning the same age. I do not feel 29, if there's really a feeling attached to any age. I do think my mental unease has somewhat to do with the fact that though I'm turning 29 -30 in a year and a month- my life is nothing what I've imagined, planned or wanted for myself. I need to find ways to get me to a place where I'm not just content with my life but happy.

Frost Bites

Today as I was arriving at my parents and getting myself and all my junk and the 3 dogs outta the van to come inside, while I was juggling everything it occured to me how "northern" I was. On a day like today (where I am finding myself broke and looking for some other source of extra income) I got up at 7, had breakfast, showered, actually took the time to put a little product in my hair and blow dry it (usually it just gets the towel and air dry with a comb ran through it), got dressed. THEN, to the dogs delight (I'm not sure how they know but they do) I tucked my pants into my socks and started getting bundled up for the -23 (with the windchill) frostiness that was waiting for us outside. The four of us (me and 3 dogs) headed outside to finish clearing/shovelling the driveway. Well I shovelled and they played, chased and did dog things...an hour later I had finished what I had failed to complete the day before the driveway and kennel were ready for the next storm!?!?! I went back into the house to let the forth dog, a dalmatian that I'm fostering out for a pee, he hates the cold, thus the reason he stayed inside, then I gathered my junk I was taking to my parents started and loaded my van, then put the dalmatian in his kennel with a few of his favorite toys and some treats and got the other 3 crazy dogs in the van and came to my parents, and like I said as I was juggling all my things walking into the house, it occured to me that I would much rather be bundled up looking similar to the michelin tire mascot, than to be in shorts and a tank top, barefoot in flipflops sweating with every step I take cuz its too hot and muggy too enjoy the "sunnier" weather. I parenthised sunnier cuz today the sun is quite bright and its rather quite sunny out. The point of my story, give me warm boots, a snowsuit, warm knit mittens a toque and a scarf through me outdoors in the frozen tundra around me and I'll be much happier/content than spending a day in the blistering heat and mugginess sipping beer or frozen drinks.

Later Dayz!

a new view

I haven’t blogged in a long time, but I find when I’m at home I get distracted or find I could be spending time being my lazy self..haha.

Anyway a couple things to report on…I am leaving on an adventure soon. Myself, parents and grandma are headed to the middle east to Qatar, which is a tiny peninsula country off of Saudia Arabia. We are going to visit my dad’s brother and his wife, my uncle works for an oil company and has been working outta the office in Doha, Qatar for the past 3 years. Qatar is a tiny country probably about the size of New Brunswick, maybe a little smaller, they are mainly a Muslim country and surrounded by desert and water. My aunt has a fun week planned for us in hopes to “make up” for all the Christmas’ they’ve missed with us, which is pretty much every Christmas since I was born! (they usually spend it with my aunts family and my grandparents would sometime go there) It should be a great adventure. My only hopes are that my dad and grandma don’t drive me too insane on the travelling there and back and that we don’t have any snow storms to delay our flights. Visiting a muslim country has also brought on a few slight difficulties in packing as you have to dress modestly, meaning the shoulders to the knees have to be covered. And to look in my closet mainly only have heavy sweaters to cover the shoulders…but I looked and moved things around and finally found a couple light shirts I can wear over tank tops (I have to also wear the tanks cuz I can’t show too much cleavage either!) Pants well I mainly only wear pants so I was ok to cover the knees. Look for TONES of pictures when I get back, as I’m pretty broke and wont be buying much over there, mind you our money is worth 3 times as much there!

Like I mentioned I’m broke! I’ve applied for a couple over jobs but who knows I hope one of them will see all the skills I have to offer and hook me up with a job that pays well!

The last part is going to be about the Christmas holiday itself, and before I begin I just want to say my intent is not to offend any devout Christian followers that may be reading, but to maybe offer a different view of the “holiday”. This all began as I was bored and surfing the web reading different blogs. And I came across quite a few that made comments about the “meaning” of Christmas has become too material and its all about giving and receiving the best gifts. (as a result of my trip overseas our family isn’t doing gifts, or rather we’re doing gifts on a extremely scaled back way, I just had to get something for my brother, his gf and my cousin/sorta sister and between the 3 of them I spent no more than 60bucks!) Anyway…and some of these bloggers proclaimed that they are Christians and will celebrate Christmas with family and friends and going to their churches to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I’ve mentioned before that I don’t intend to offend anyone and that myself I don’t care if you are Christian, jewish, muslim or whatever, I consider myself not necessarily a non-believer but I like to question the core beliefs of any religion to see if there’s any possible way that theses “stories” could actually be true or have some truth to them. My beef with Christmas is that it’s not really Jesus’ birthday, they figure he was actually born in September sometime. We celebrate his “birth” in December because in 350, Pope Julius I declared that Christ’s birth would be celebrated on December 25, to make the transition to this “new” religion easier on the pagans who had their own traditions and festivals during this time of year which most centred around the winter solstice. So in my opinion Pope Julius decided that the higher road to Christianity would be to take the easier road and convince the pagans that they wouldn’t really be loosing any of their feasts or parties by switching to Christianity. I think that’s a bit of a cop-out, because if Christianity is all its cracked up to be wouldn’t have the people eventually discovered this for themselves and left their pagan rituals for the “better” way?! Perhaps because of this trickery from Pope Julius, is just now catching up with us, perhaps the pagans had it right all along, with their multi-gods, and festivals to celebrate the earth itself, which perhaps we should have continued doing maybe we wouldn’t be in such a state of environmental crisis with global warming and pollution?! Perhaps the majority of us are actually true pagans at heart and just enjoy the company of family and friends and all the festivities and celebration that this time of year has to offer. Again I didn’t tend to offend anyone, just to maybe question their beliefs and dig deeper to see where other religions are all about, to have an open mind about everything and anything,

Later Dayz!